Just a Girl

The one that got away.. in my version ;)

2011-12-25T23:03:00.001+08:00

In 2011 when we first met

We had the same interest and got off well

And on my 19th Birthday

You shook hand with dear..

You'd never drink liquor

Until you're told to

Talk about our future

Like we had a clue

Never planned that one day

I'd be loving you

In another life

I wanna be your girl

We'd keep all our promises

Be us against the world

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don't have to say

You were the one that got away

The one that got away

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash

Never wanna be without you

You made me feel blessed

Sometimes when I miss you

I put those records on (whoa)

Your friends said that you met someone new

Saw you downtown with her too

It's time to face the music

I'm never was your muse

But in another life

I wanna be your girl

We'd keep all our promises

Be us against the world

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don't have to say

You were the one that got away

The one that got away

The one that got away

All this money can't buy me a time machine (No)

Can't replace you with a million rings (No)

I shoulda told you what you meant to me (Whoa)

In another life

I wanna be your girl

We'd keep all our promises

Be us against the world

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.2

Emo

2011-10-13T00:33:00.003+08:00

My self-esteem? Its down there. Cant see it? Me neither. I dunoe why when my friends dont feel confident, i give them advices. But when it comes to me? Oh dear. Nothing you say will make me better. Its just undescribable how i feel everytime i think negative. Its like the world is mocking me non stop. And in reality, no one actually said anything. I guess its just how i feel when im alone. with no one to talk to.

my weight. it doesnt help. well, im not exactly big, but im not at an ideal weight idea. yes, in other words. over weight! urgh! that is one of the reasons why im always negative. i keep thinking that is why people stares at me in the train. and thats also the reason why i've been single for years!

Im so jealous seeing other girls wearing pretty clothes. or basically making whatever they wear look nice. i cant wear anything. i must wear something that is noce. i cant make anything i wear look nice. plus, im not fashionable. im just normal. i buy what i can afford and wear what i buy. i have only myself to blame for not having anything nice to wear. cause of my bad sense in fashion.

HAIZ

im seriously at my lowest now.

i dont feel loved.

i dont feel right.

and i just got to know, the guy i have a crush on has a crush and he also likes her back! my my my. life doesnt get any BETTER huh?

okay. bye.

2011-09-11T00:08:00.001+08:00

its not fair that you get to leave us forever and we cant even stop thinking about you.

i dont wanna stop thinking, but well im not a verbal kinda person. i cant express what i feel in words sometimes. you can expect me to talk to you all the time.

i dont wanna be angry at you, but i just think its unfair.

its unfair.

Irritated like f--k!

2011-07-16T20:49:00.002+08:00

i just feel a need to blog tonight. im just annoyed. really annoyed. my mum has been nagging the moment she gets back home. like everything i do is wrong to her. its like i havent done anything useful for the past years in my life. like whats her problem with me? i think i'd helped her the most all the time. her precious son is always out and her precious youngest daughter isnt old enough to help her do chores. so who's left? but who's always being blamed? yea, her bloody useless daughter.

originally today, i had plans. but cause she working and my sister has religious class, i had to stay at home! how irritating is that? den last night, another kid stayed over my house. so in the end, i had double of workload. that kid is fat, for a kid his age. so he always complain about being hungry. but when i offer him food, when its available, he refuses. then when theres no food, he asks for food! so annoying! and so smart of my mum nor to leave any money for food, knowing there are alot of people at home.

im just so irritated with my life right now. im sorry, but yes, im irritated by how my mums acting towards me! plus, im at the peak emotion period of the month. girls should understand why.

im blogging this with hope no ones actually reading it. i know my blogs like inactive, so i hope nobody reads it.

well, i know that precious someones good at bootlicking, so he'll not get scolded or sumthing, i hate when he does that.

i hate my day today!

Mixed of Emotions..

2011-03-09T14:12:00.003+08:00

You never know why u feel this way. It just happens. Some things you wanna try to say but there's always that one thing that stops you from doing so. It's difficult at times. Especially when it has something to do with your feelings. U wanna express it but u dun have the courage to. It's worse when you see the person almost everyday. U know its gonna be heartbreaking. you dun wanna hurt yourself but u don't want to just keep waiting.Its like you wanna keep hoping even though the chances of it to happen is very small.

Hoping alone is not enough. We all know it. But we keep hoping just to keep a positive mind about it. You ask yourself why you feel this way. You imagine the nicest things that you wanna and you try to avoid the worst. If only whatever you wish for comes true. If only 'if only's works. Feeling very useless when you're just staring from afar.

You can't do anything but just keep your feelings to yourself. Sometimes you wanna express your feelings to a friend but you're afraid of what they may think or how they will react. When they're beside you but you just gotta stay cool and not feel awkward, it's just not how you want it to be. It's difficult to keep cool. I just wanna express it but has never been able to.

Then you know you have no chance at all. It's so sad to realise that you're not their favourite person in the world. You're not the one they wanna see everyday. You're not one of the most important people in their life. The feeling is disheartening. You just feel broken. You don't wanna feel that way but their actions will play with your emotions.

Then they call you names. You feel useless. You feel as if you're the ugliest person tehy ever met. They mock you. You don't even wanna save yourself cause you know that's just how they feel. And you can't change it.

Then, you're the topic of their jokes all the time. Its so sickening. It really is.

moved, but might be back

2010-11-08T22:01:00.002+08:00

hey there. been gone. now here i am. hahahhahahaha.

well, i have a tumblr account now.

www.hunni-eka.tumblr.com

but i might b back. i dunoe. hu noes i might get bored den i wanna a blogger again:D

hahah. ok tata:)

proper update

2010-10-05T15:48:00.002+08:00

i noe i havent update for like about 2 months. omgosh!

HAHA!

okaysssss..

FASTING MONTH IS OVER.

well, it went well i can say. mostly i break fast at home. i did the cooking most of the time since my mum was working and wouldnt make it in time to cook. haha. most of my cookings were successful. yes, most and not all okay? im not that lousy in cooking u noe. HAHA! was quite struggling when exams were coming. but music helped. i studied at night, never in the morning. hahaha. well, exams ended with the fasting month. our last paper was on the last day of fasting month. heh.

RAYA IS ALMOST OVER.

well, its already the last week of raya. haha. this year's raya was normal, except that my family and i celebrated it in a new home. not much visiting compared to previous years. and there were lesser visitors too. haha. my house never had many visitors since my grandmum passed away years ago. its so sad to see that my house is not full of visitors. except for the first day when my aunt came here first before we took off to visit the other relatives. well, went with friends as well for the last 2 weeks for raya. it was F.U.N. the most fun about this years raya is i got to celebrate a part of it with my dad ! yeay ! been so long since we celebrated raya tgt. heeeeeeeeee:D

EXAMS ARE ALSO LONG OVER! HURRAY!

results has also came. i passed Alhamdulillah, but i really hoped i did better. well, thats what u get when you studied in the last minute. haiz. im one lazy bum bum i noe. but i still passed. thank God.

i guess thats all for now. not looking forward for school re-open. but i hope this sems gonna be so much better in terms of grades and general school, since its attachments.

lousy

2010-10-05T15:24:00.003+08:00

hey ! i noe i've been gone for a very long time. alot has happened. and i dun tink i need to list all of 'em here.

dun have to read if u dun wanna:D

anw............

im feeling very lousy right now. she always makes me feel useless, stupid etc... i wont say who but u guys will probably be able to guess in the end anws. shes the reason why im feeling lousy right now.

u noe sometimes i feel like running away but i either dun dare to or i pity my mum. sometimes evil thoughts comes to my mind, like swearing people i hate at the point of time. but as the day goes by it feels like i've done stupid things. cause everything we say are like prayers to God. im just confused with my life right now. i wan it to be perfect but no one has a perfect life. i wan a family back, with my dad of course. but i tink its just better this way, if not it wouldnt have been like this right.

another thing i realise about myself. i never share problems with my parents, not even my mum. i dunoe why. but i'd rather talk about it with my friend. i feel stupid sometimes cause i tell her about family matter and all. but i got no one else to turn to.

im sorry for going on like this. i'll have a proper update yea?

updates

2010-08-10T01:23:00.003+08:00

not much updates really. i mean yea i noe i havent been updating thats coz i dun have interesting stories to tell. dun wanna just update and bore you. ya know.

anw, fasting months cuming. im pretty excited compared to previous years. i wanna lose weight this time. im actually more excited for raya. nth new. i always do. but none of my family members are actually ecited. boooooooooo. hahahah. so since the fasting months cuming, had some fun before it started. heh. went to cycle today. with Amy and Raf. i was really tired actually, coz i slept at 5 plus the nite before and woke up at 9 plus. haha. i just couldnt sleep. hahahhahah. it was fun. heeee.

anw, this few days i keep thinking about M. he, yes its a he, is a guy i like since year one of poly. when i realise that i was just putting too much hope, i decided to forget him. i managed to, at least for awhile. coz everytime i forgotten about him, den suddenly when i see him again, BOOM i have thesame feelings for him again. its like whenever i wanna see him, i wont see him. but whenever i forgotten about him, i will keep seeing him.

i really hope wont bore Raf and Amy bout M. coz everytime im with them, i talk about M. sorry babes ! haha. especially Raf, when we were in the train this morning on our way to meet amy, i keep talking about M. from how he looks to how he dress. blah blah blah. i will always find a topic about him to talk about.

i wanna talk to him. but im scared. he might find me irritating. or i might put higher hopes later. i dun wanna do that. but i dun wanna wait till im old too. booooo to MAS !

i really think im not his type. i wear tudung. definitely not his type. booooooooo.

i found out that his has twitter. but im scared to follow:(

ANW, HAPPY FASTING TO MY MUSLIM FRIENDS. i hope mines a smooth one. Amin.

J'ai 18 ans.

2010-07-23T22:27:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !

heee.

the days ending soon. so why not wish myself a very happy birthday ! hahah:D well, nothing special just school then head home. and its Friday ! im rotting at home ! not something i expect my birthday to be like. but, its okay:D

anw, heres the pics of what i got. got only 2 pressie and a card:D

school makes me mad

2010-07-22T10:00:00.002+08:00

BORING !

i woke up late. so i had to take a cab to school which cost me 3o bucks ! and when i reached school i realise i'll reach school the same time if i were to take d train. so i just wasted 30 bucks of mine. sadded:(

plus, the taxi driver said the same thing again and again. hes like trying to convince me to take another way where it has lesser traffic. then i was like ok ok. then he repeats it again and again. even though i am already convinced.

*with the uncle-uncle dialect*' this side ah no traffic because people all go town area to work. this side not much traffic ah. i told you already. that not much car go by here cause got ERP. then summore people go work mah. so they go by the other side. this side not much cars.'

and he repeats it again and again.

i was yawning quite a few times actually. hahahaha. sorry uncle but you bore me. heee:D

ICT bores me too. the teacher is reading the book. like we cant like that. *yawns*

anyway, got my first birthday pressie. A MP3:D brader bought it for me. its PINK ! how can it get better? heeee:) loving it. its part of the reason i woke up late actually. i was putting on songs in the mp3 so i slept late. ahhaha. im always excited when i get new stuff. heeeee.

ok now. byeeee:D

turning 18 soooooooooooon:D

2010-07-06T23:17:00.002+08:00

new blogskin<3

but its kinda plain. i dun noe how to pick a good blogskin and excuse me for that.

ermm. i think im gonna get migraine soon. rushing projects is not what i like. but i dun wan to protest. but i'll just follow. i mean, its good for the group. so we can rest fast rite. rightttttt.

hmm. school is mundane. which school isnt. tell me if yours isnt. i'll be interested. heeee. okayyy. im just very bored. no mood for anything. am i a very bad person. my old friends dont acknowledge me no more.

very disappointed. actually thats not a right word. i try to be there for her most of the time. but im ignored. yes i am sad. i am sort of jealous when you acknowledge others in front of me and not acknowledge me. am i that invisible?

that is enough to prove that im not good enough to be your friend. but believe me i tried. i noe we had issues last time, but i want you to let go. that was just the time i was so damn immature. i didnt noe wat i was tinking. i dun noe who my real friends were. but when i do, you just weren't there then it leads me thinking to whether you really want me to be your friend or were those just words.

you know when people say that 'i am here for you when you need me'

some people will be there everytime you need them, and i understand when you cant.probably you are busy. i understand that. but when you ignore me, you just wouldnt understand how i felt. seriously. i'd rather you say straight in my face that im not a good friend and dun deserve ur friendship than ignoring me like that. it hurts. seriously.

ok bye.

a lil update:D

2010-07-04T22:25:00.003+08:00

HAAAACHOOOOO! sorry its kinda dusty here. hahaha:D

sorry eh, i was either very busy or just plain lazy. mostly is b...... plain lazy. hhhahaahhaa:D

anw, should update a little lah kay?

hmmm. well, now is like project period since last two weeks. i hate this part of the year. cause i'll get migraine very often. and it sucks. every time im doing my project i'll get migraine. well, the periods ending soon. but not yet. haha. still have two to come. that is Sports and ICT. both in which i suck at. ICT just bores me. i guess most of the class too thinks this way. the teacher teaches us like wth like dat. dun understand nvm. haha. i mean i caught him reading from the book. like omg. is that how a teacher should teach. at least he should noe his stuff now, he doesnt look like a new teacher to me.we can read from the book as well. LOL.

anw, i shall share some stuffs with u guys. its about my zodiac sign.

imma Leo. den, it says that i shouldnt play with fire, or it will backfire at me. i should think carefully before making any decision.

so im like okay lorh. nth much. den i read on. theres 3 parts: Love, money and Health.

Love: i'll meet my true love.

Money: Financial problems.

Health: i should love myself.

so im like what the hell !

firstly, im like really? im gonna meet my true love?? excited much? or is it desperate much? haha. im not desperate !

then the financial problem, and i was thinking i always have financial problems. hahah:D LOL.

the last part was very 'insulting'. like it was really pointing to me and say that i should love myself. in other words, watch what u eat ! so i was like okayyyy. haaha.

it was like made especially from me. haha. serve me rite for always eating junk food!

okay thats it for now.

miss me :D

just bored

2010-06-13T20:00:00.003+08:00

you may ignore the pic above if you want. haha just for fun:)
yeah. the title just says it all. im now bored. i wanna sleep all day. but cannot ah. i dunoe y. hahaa. ytd went to cycle. not at ECP tho. somewhere nearer. haha. Nad's house. to teach a little girl how to cycle. and it was a successful one.

CONGRATULATIONS RAFIDAH.

well, you've just graduated. congratulations babe ! haha. now no more pushing of bikes in ECP ! hahaha:D

cant wait fot the next session ! :D

i dunoe what's up.

2010-06-12T00:29:00.003+08:00

helllllllloooooo !

its holidayy ! yeayy ! but then again, still theres school work to be done. two breaks gonna be crazy for me, i bet ! well, this 2 weeks were hectic. at least kind of, for me.

had french ICA on thursday. i think mine was sucky. i was trembling. had difficulty breathing too. i think i have stage fright. tho theres no stage. then it should be crowd fright. what i mean is i dun talk well in front of people. im not a good speaker. maybe if no one is looking i'll do well. haiz. its just me lah. sorry lorh.

loser eh? haiz.

i wan a good rest. like sleep the whole day. do nothing. but cannot cause theres always work to do. so stress. is attachment easier then this? i mean is the stress equal to this? i might not be able to handle it. but then again, i think i would be able to go thru everything He gives me:) InsyaAllah.

ok lah. im very tired. :D

needs rest now.

batam. continued. hehe.

2010-06-08T14:33:00.003+08:00

well, sorry for leaving my pictures like dat without any words. i was so damn tired. boat lagged. got such thing meh? i dunoe either. hahhaa.

well, on sunday, i went to Batam. with family. its some kind of tour we were following. haha. didnt noe until i got there. heee. well, we headed to their Barelang bridge. its a very tall bridge. its high up from the sea. its scary plus shiok. it was all windy. a very romantic scene.

took pictures. as you can see in my previous post. hahaha. then we went for lunch in a seafood restaurant. and i love the seafood there. so delicious ! really ! theres prawn, fish, squids and more. didnt even regret following blindly. haha. then watched a cultural show. scary cause the guys ate glass and one of them peeled a coconut using his teeth. i feel his pain tho. its something like 'kuda kepang' in singapore. will upload the videos kay?

oh ya. we also went to a garden. but its a unique one. cause there is many miniature houses built there. so they are the small versions of very popular houses, buildings in Indonesia. very cute. some of them are very pretty:)

then they let us went shopping. i like the stuff there but didnt buy any except for DONUTS. heeeee:) a dozen of them. i didnt eat them alone kay? hahaha:)

anw,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY COUSIN, YANA ! HAPPY 18TH:D

BATAM

2010-06-06T23:06:00.001+08:00

MY HAIR !

2010-06-05T22:13:00.002+08:00

hello:)

condolences to me ! i just lost my HAIR ! the funeral will be done by the hairdressers in the shop. although its my hair. haiz. but i think its for my own good. it can be better taken care of. sorry eh no pictures. too sad to take any.

yea to me. i karaoked just now ! alone. my mum joined for awhile . then go again. haha. i want more. now that my uncles back. i thought he might wanna watch the tellie so i stopped. :(

hahah.

hello?

2010-06-04T16:01:00.003+08:00

i always wonder if there is anyone who reads my blog. they'll be bored. and then run away. hahah. theres nothing to read anyways. they'll say how stupid i am to have a blog and not update it. ok. whatever. sorry to be mumbling right when i blog. hhhaha.

anyway, i'm bored. i wanna sing. but i'll wait till tmr. hahah. anyone wanna join? hehs. i think i'll be alone tmr. my mums gonna fetch my sis. i bet my bro will be out. so im the nice one who stays at home every weekend. :(

i think i should add pictures to my entries. to make it more ALIVE ! hhaha:) i will from now onwards yea? hahha.

I MISS MY SISTER. ma petite soeur :)

penat lahhh

2010-06-03T21:37:00.002+08:00

woah. i had 23 posts ! vingt-trois! hahahah:)

im tired. of all the ICAs. although i've been thru it before, but im still tired of it. haiz. i hope attachment wouldnt as difficult. :)

well, no more holiday on fridays. so sad. hahaha:)

alah, i got nth to say. but i dont wanna leave my blog dead:(

hehs. i'll be back with a proper post yea?

merci:)

busy? kinda. but...

2010-05-31T19:06:00.002+08:00

BONJOUR:)

hahaha. practicing my French since there's ICA next week. 1 min speech. OhEmGee ! i wanna do well. since im not doing that well in other modules. like average kinda stuff. i dun wanna fail any subject this semester. i can't.

well, my team is starting on our project. so many things to do but so little time. cliche, i Noe. hahaha. but its so real. im not good at time management. haiz. lousy i know. haiz.

anw, im so dark right now. hahaha. Wild wild wet was awesome ! had fun. although something cropped up that made me furious. i pity my mum. nvm. they are so heartless. and if she knows i say this, she'll say im heartless.

anyway, ICA's are kind of a struggle for me. i like studying last minute. that's a bad habit right? but then........

hahaha. gotta go:)

READERS, DO TAG MY BOARD YEA? ITS KINDA EMPTY:D

awesome-ness

2010-05-23T21:04:00.003+08:00

i know its been soooooooooo long since i blogged. hehs:)
millions of apologies:DD

hehs.

alot have happened. duhh. well, recently, went to watch SHREK with my cousins ! and SHREK was AWESOME!
SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!
SHREK'S AWESOME!SHREK'S AWESOME!

ehehs! but seriously. i tot it will be boring. coz its kinda for kids. but then. it was AWESOME! hahah again !

slept over my cousins house last nite ! hahah. back at home now.

bye thats all ! :D

sheesh

2010-05-09T02:54:00.002+08:00

this will be an improper post.

i dunoe who to talk to. so i'll just say it here.

well, i happen to come across someone i dislike. no names mentioned. and i will never mention:)

you're trying so hard to impress me. but i dun give a damn. i dun hate you i just dislike you coz you similar to someone i hate. the fact that you're in my life right now gets me thinking alot. will the same thing repeat again?

maybe not all but i just have the feeling that it might. i heard the word 'yang; twice. and i effingly hate that word i tell you. you dun have to insult me u noe. i eat whatever i wanna eat. you dun have to care. so what if whatever i eat dun make me full. but i like it . its none of your business anyway. im not using your money.

i will never want to see you again. i'll try my best to avoid meeting you. but if i have to see you, i'll act as if you're the nicest person on earth. call me hypocrite. whatever. i dun give a damn.

i just dislike you. im nvr gonna be tired saying this.

Bangkok pictures:)

2010-04-28T22:18:00.006+08:00

2010-04-24T17:30:00.003+08:00

the weather is so nice!! guess what i just woke up from a nap. a nice one. the weather made me sleepy. like really!! hahah.

a week of school only and im frigging tired. i have to go thru this for like 16 weeks or so i think. that'll be 4 mths. and oh shuts! i hate that period cause its exams!!

omg ! i dunoe what to say! like really. ohhhh. did you know i got drenched two days straight! on thursday and friday!!! thursday was otw to work!! and ytd when i was walking back home from the bus stop ! such bad luck. i hope this means that sumtink good is gonna happen to me ! anything i'll take ! hahas. as long as its good rite?

hahas. bye!!

is this a new beginning or what?

2010-04-22T23:37:00.003+08:00

i noe i've been ignoring this blog. and im sorry. :)

well, since i came back from thailand, many things happened. like of course the start of a new year for poly students like me. yes a new year means new faces, new modules and new stress. have u heard of that? haha. i just made that up. 8 modules altogether. how crazy. most of 'em are examable modules. haiz.

bought a netbook. its more convenient for students. lighter. :)hehs:)

well, i got nth to say except that i was drenched just now while walking to work. hahs. some people just wouldnt listen to your advice. haha. k nvm.

oh ya, i'll update on the pictures next time ya.

school at 8 tmr !!

im backkkk

2010-04-06T20:47:00.002+08:00

hehs. yes im back people ! actually i was back since sunday:) i was so damn tired lah on monday. like seriously. i slept till 4 in the afternoon on monday. woah. the longest ever. i think . i dunoe why. hahah:) i'll upload the pictures later. i wann all the photos from my cousins as well. so you guys hefta wait.

in thailand, i was so having fun !! seriously ! all i did was shop shop shop ! shop till i dropped. not me but my cousin. she fell while we were shopping. hehs. that was funny. k nvm bout that.

in our itinerary, we had plans to go to the safari lah, dreamworld lah. but in the end, we cancelled all those plan and went for shopping everyday. hahah. shiokness. really ! imagine doing nth but shop everyday in your life ! it was freedom. all the things are so damn cheap lah ok. haha:) i bought loads of bags. hehs. like 4 of em. hahaha:) i wanna do it again ! i dun care. but of course i need to start saving from now ! i loike !

i wanna go with my friends next time.

:))

ooh btw, when we were going to this shopping mall to shop, hahah (like duhh) hah, the red shirts group was passing by. we were scared but my cousins still took pictures of them haha. then when we reached the mall, it was closed cause of the red shirts. haiz. we were kinda angry. cause it was effing hot den when we reach there it was close. BUT LUCKILY! theres an ice cream shop beside the mall which is open. its not really ice cream, its like ice kachang ! then we were happy ! at last sumtink cool in the middle of a hot sunny day ! hahah:)

ok. just wait for the pictures alrite beautiful people !:)

bangkok.bangkok.bangkok.

2010-03-29T00:39:00.002+08:00

ola. sawadeekap!

hahas. thats what i can think abt now. seriously. like ytd, i was lying on my bed. trying to fall asleep which obviously didnt work lah. cause all i could think of was BANGKOK. hahahaha. like what to wear? what to shop? what shoes shud i get? what shud i bring? and it goes on. im all excited. i think im the most excited.

im so sorry if i bore you with this bangkok trip. but i cant help it. this will be my first independent trip. i didnt even think i had the chance to do this. i mean my life wasnt at the best few years back you know. im so glad everything happened the waqy it did. although bad things happen, theres a reason for it. and im gonna keep reminding myself that. i hope.

btw, just to tell you a lil bit bout my flight and plans all that.

i can actually tell you bout the flight lah. cause the plans will be plan tmr with cuzzies ! haha

on wednesday, my flight will be at 7 am in the morning. yea when al you guys are still sleeping soundly all tucked in your bed. and guess what?! i have to be there at 5am. haha. luckily my cuzin planned to sleepover her aunts hse at pasir ris, its nearer. there wont be any public transport at 4 am. so we have to take a cab which will cost a bomb cause i leave so far away from the airport. so i decided to agree with the sleepover.

my mum wanted to send me before she go to work. but its ok mum. im a big girl:D *smile wide*

its true when they say girls just wanna have fun ! hehs:D

my beloved frens and family, please pray for me to get back home safely ok?

love ya

2010-03-25T23:23:00.003+08:00

hello diary,

i seem to be pretty nice to update you almost everyday now. maybe cause i feel bad for leaving you so lonely. so i share things with you. haha. or maybe i just wanted to do it. hehs.

im super excited yet again. about the trip to bangkok. its my first trip without parents and teachers. hahaha. its just cousins. i noe i've been toking bout this in the last few posts. but ireally cannot wait mans. really seriously serious. although theres this protesting things between the people and government, i still wanna go. i hope they dont disturb us lah. i mean we're there not to interfere in their situation. we're there to have FUN ! haha:)

anws, i've been out today. iwent to help out my friend at work. i get paid too u noe. so why not? i need a job but no job needs me. haha.

to tell you the truth, i got nth else to say.

sorry, but at least i did update:)

signing off with no signature:)

swim

2010-03-24T23:57:00.002+08:00

diary diary diary,

went swimming today, wif my cuzin, sista, and niece. at this age of mine, still gets excited abt swimming. haha. there were so little people there. of course its a weekday and not a school holiday. but its better this way. hahas.

i dun really love crowd. some might be just too annoying. some are fine:) hehs.

anw, next week im going to bangkok. like exactly a week away. my mum is too worried but i understand. with the situation there now, i can give that a pass for her nagging. hehs:) my uncle and aunt are not that worried although her daughter is also going. my cousin is to busy to even meet up to discuss the itinery. that worries me. if we go there and dont noe what to do or where to head. it'll will waste our time. i mean we're not there for weeks and even for a week. we'll be heading home on sunday morning. and i dun like it. we could go home on sunday afternoon but she chose to go home in the morning. less time to shop. cause theres this particular place, which people find a shopping heaven and it opens during weekends only u see. haiz. so we'll have to spend our saturday gg there. only a day? i dun tink thats even enough.

im totally excited for this trip. but my cousin doesnt seem to excited. haiz. im the youngest among us three. yea im gg in a group of 3 . all consist of GIRLS. i noe people say its not that sfae. but if we stick tgt, i think we're gonna be fine. i hope. they have to protect me since im the youngest:) hehs:)

anw, i bumped to an old friend otw back hm just now, he asked where im schooling, what course and so on. when i told him which course i am in, he said that im fat and still be in that course so i say thank you of course sarcastically. heesh! im not even bothering your life. you dun even noe me well to insult me. i noe im fat. i dun need anyone to tell me that. i just hope i wont meet him anywhere ever !

guys guys guys! haiz !

im tired !
:(

going off now:)
muacks to those who loves me !
hugs to those hates or dislikes me:))

finally cleared modules

2010-03-23T14:57:00.003+08:00

results are out. and Alhamdulillah I passed all modules but my GPA still suck. i needa buck up on that. gonna work hard the next sem. talking about next sem.. Its gonna be a new Year for poly students and Im like a Year 2 student now ! OMG ! time just run so fast that i didnt even realise that i just got older.

i sent my sista to school just now since im on holiday now. we were on the bus otw to her school. she sat in front of me as there were not many people. i asked her whether she could see outside(pardon my english) . then i looked at her. shes so tall now. comparing to her height like 2 years ago. haha. then i realise how fast i grew too. it was like moments ago, i was sitting in a bus unable to see the outside as i wasnt tall enough. now, i can like see everycorner of the outside. im like 18 this year! omg ! i mean i grow fast physically. not that im very tall, but in my family, yea im tall. haha. not just height but i put on alot of weight thru the years.

im half sad, but im half happy about being fat. haha. of course, when someones fat, they'll have low self-esteem. so do i. i mean im not confident of gg out really. like i keep asking myself, do i look ok? why am i happy being fat? cause it shows that my mum give me food to eat. she takes care of me properly. if im so skinny, people might think im being tortured at home sia. haha. no offence to the skinny people out there. haha:)

ok i'll stop here. continue next time aite? :)

A NEW BEGINNING (like real only)

2010-03-23T14:52:00.004+08:00

as you can see that my skin is somehow like a diary. thats because i wanna make this blog like my personal diary. the one where everyone can read of course. i will let my feelings out in this blog aka diary:)

i hope you people would not get bored ok?

ANW, see that title. it means a new beginning to my blog. haha. after being do dead. my latest post was before i even had exams. woah. thats like abt 2 months ago. haha. im so lazy to update. i've got no interesting things to share. my life's boring. but with happy people and just so supportive frens and family, my life has a meaning too. haha. ok.

i shall start my bloggy diary soon. maybe after this post:) haha:)

LOT OF LOVE,

MASRATIKAH<3

a new beginning (like real only

2010-03-23T14:52:00.001+08:00

2010-02-18T18:16:00.001+08:00

EXAMS STARTS TOMORROW ! ! GOOD LUCK MATES ! !

2010-02-11T10:21:00.003+08:00

GOD is giving me hope.
THEY are crushing those hopes.
I'd rather believe GOD!

2010-02-06T23:31:00.001+08:00

IRONICALLY, I STILL WANT TO WAIT

minyak loves green therefore a green post:)

2010-01-23T22:52:00.002+08:00

im not in a good mood today. because of my fucking .... i shall not sya. it'll be too obvious then.

well this person is a bootlicker and a good one too. fuck you person ! you suck ! you ruion my life all the time. and i dont get y she actually back you up everytime. that sucks !

whatever with that person !

well, now i gotta give minyak up. no point waiting when i noe im not even visible in his eyes. shit ! someone actually like him too. i suck i noe. i dont wanna give up. but i noe i wont be able to get him. im not desperate so i'll just give up. she is pretty, i got no chance anymore. she is an extrovert, i on the other hand, is not anything like her. she is outgoing. and the list go on.
im nothing compared to her. bye bye minyak. i can just look at you now and not feel anything. maybe a little hurt, but it'll go away as i have beautiful frens that will cheer me up ! rite girls? pls do anyway. haha.

now i shall hunt for 'twin' of minyak ! just where are you??
haha. now i sound desperate.
but im not you know.
haha.
bye bye. wish you well pretty lady:)

2010-01-05T00:48:00.002+08:00

i wonder why people say that poly is so much fun. yea its so damn fun but its so damn stress too. theres more stress than fun. once i just started to have fun, stress come running chasing me. haiz.

anw, its a new year. i wanna change to a better person. ok. everyone is going ard about their new years resolution. but for me, im not gonna make any this year. cause i dont wanna talk big anymore. for the past years, i have been saying i wanna do this, i wanna do that. but in the end....kwang kwnag kwang. nothing.

projects are taking over me now. for this period of the semester, projects are taking over my life. once i step into school the word 'project' seems to be heard everywhere. i dont even wanna talk about it but i have to. dots.

bye for now. just like im done for my sports report, which has drain out all my brain cells and thoughts. 1500 words ya noe. omgee rite? im getting hang of it :)

blog again some other time. do miss me yea. :)

2010-01-03T02:18:00.003+08:00

this might be cliche but still.........

HELLO 2010 ! ! :D

GOODBYE 2009 ! ! :(

i hope this year would be a better year ahead : D

love you all ! ! muah muah :)

blank

2009-12-20T16:26:00.003+08:00

hola !

im bored now, therefore im blogging. but the thing is i dun noe what i should blog about. haha. silly me. LOL.

theres a class gathering tomorrow. the place isnt confirmed but they say it might be in the west side. so im so freaking happy. hhahaha. oh shootzz! i just rmbed that i dun have enough tranportation fees. omgee! haiya!

hopefully its on the west side. paling rabak pun jalan kaki.
hahaha.

i seriously got nth to alk about u noe. oh my. might as well not have a blog rite. hahahs. c'mon brains. i need to have something to talk about.

k since i wanna lose weight, i shall talk about it yea. haha. the last time i exercise or did something that could burn fats is on friday! haha. played captains ball with class before sport class start. i was freaking tired after that. maybe due to lack of sleep the night before. i stay awake for awhile to prepare for my speech. i was actually watching Project Runway. it was the finale, how can i not watch it rite? kayy back to my topic about me wanting to lose weight. i need to buck up definitely . duhh ! i am a lazy pig i noe. i wanna be able to run 2.4 km in 12 mins. haha. even better 10 mins. thats just a goal. we'll see if i'll even work hard for it. hahaha. i need to watch what i eat definitely. hahahahahah! you must be wondering why i am laughing so hard. cause this monster that is typing all this would never watch what she eats. she munches on everything in front of her that she is allowed to munch on. especially tidbits! hahaha. donuts too! hahahhaha.

laugh laugh laugh. and the one you're laughing at is me ! hmph !

kayy lah. quite long sia my post. quite only. ahaha.

chaoz!

oh dream, please come true:))

2009-12-17T17:41:00.003+08:00

hey guys !

i had a weird but exciting dream last night. it was about me getting married to an artiste. a malaysian artiste.

warning: i wont rite the artistes name cause its very embarassing. hehs:)

it actually started out when i was planning about my wedding with Mr K. then i decided to call it off cause i thought i was too young. (i am still 17 in the dream) then i started going out with another guy, Mr J. and i decided to get married to him. i had no idea why. then when i thought about it, i still think i was too young. but before i could tell my mum to cancel it, my mum had given out the invitation card. so sad. then during the eve of my wedding, many other artistes came to my house. i was like hugging the girls like i was good frens with them. hahaha! among the artistes was Mr K. when i look at Mr K, i thought i was marrying him. so i called him. then when he looked at me, it struck me that i wasnt gonna marry him. so i just said that i was so sorry that i had to cancel our wedding. hahah! so i got married to Mr J.

i didnt get to the wedding part as i woke up already. haha. but what i noe was that Mr J was happy to get married to me. haiz. all artistes are from Malaysia. hahaa.

weird rite? but it was cool! hahah. getting married at 17. haha. plus, to an artiste! so mind-blowing.

i dunoe why i dreamt of that. i was expecting myself to dream about Tsunami as i was doing speech on Tsunami before i went to sleep. and thanks to the dream, i woke up late and had to take a cab to school. hahaha!

that was so funny. really. maybe i thought of Mr K too much. hahaha. rmb its Mr K not Datok K.
:)

i need to practice my speech ! darn. such luck to have it on the last day of school. and thanks to sports class that i have to stay in school for 4 hours tmr! haiz.

k bye !
:)

2009-12-17T02:26:00.002+08:00

hey ppl! hehs

its 2.26am and im stil awake. if u realise its a weekday and i have school tmr. but thnks to the speech presentation most of my classmates are still up. i cant help it. i need to rush it if not i'll fail. haha. i can bearly open my eyes now. so im gg to sleep. and i dunt noe whether im gg for lecture onot tmr. i feel so sleepy! bye! i need my bed!

hola

2009-12-14T12:16:00.000+08:00

k i just started a new blog. i had some problems with my old one. so sorry bout that. hehs. i'll try to update kay? i'll try. hehs.

doesnt sound convincing rite? im not even convinced myself. haha.

im just so f****** irritated lah just now.

i dunoe why. but people just make me mad. most of the time.

if cannot be corrected or u cannot take remarks, you cant live babe. you will not be able to. everything i say seems wrong to you rite? so now i wont talk to you. i'll just ignore you. oh i cant. cause when i ignore you, u'll get mad. so now what? you can be mad at people and people cant be mad at you?! f*** off.

sorry to start a blog like this. but i just needed to shout this things out to this particular girl. haha. sorry:(